Patty's Favorite Moment
My wife, Patty, and I have owned a condo in California on the beach for over 12 years, but we have decided to sell it. For more on that topic see several previous postings.
We were eating dinner at the Coyote grill the other night. That particular restaurant is one of our favorites because they have a nice semi-private patio that is cool in the summer and warm in the winter. We were reminiscing about all of the places we have gone, all of the things we have done and all of the people we have enjoyed as a result of owning the condo that we have sometimes affectionately referred to as the "nest".
There are plenty of general pleasures like watching the sun fall off the end of the earth right from our deck, or kicking off our shoes and walking down the stairs and across the grass in the yard then take a few more steps to begin long walks on the beach, or all of the private time we have shared together.
Then our conversation became more specific than that. We were recalling very precise activities. There are so many of them that I almost feel guilty. I am not sure that one person deserves so much pleasure. We must have gone on for a half hour, reliving all of those fine moments.
As our dinner was coming to an end, we each tried to pick the number one thing that meant the most to us after all of this time. There was so much to choose from but we each settled on something, Interestingly, Patty’s favorite memory also made my list of favorites and my top choice was one of the first things she mentioned when we began the exercise.
Patty’s first choice was searching for sand dollars, with her mother, Doris (That is Patty, her mother and my aunt in the above picture) I understand why Patty made that choice for four specific reasons: First, Doris always loved this place. Evidence of that was found in the way she watched each sunset as if she had never seen a previous one. She also regularly recalled fond memories of times she visited the beach with her own mother and with Patty’s dad. She couldn’t get enough of the kids playing on the beach, She loved long walks in the sand. And she particularly enjoyed looking for shells and sand dollars.
Second, I am nearly as fond of Doris as Patty is. If you would like to read an article that reveals my feelings for her, just visit my website http://www.uncledavesrealestate.com/bin/web/real_estate/AR273324/ACTIVATE_FRAMES/EXTRA1/Littleton/1246890401.html and examine Grandma: Worn out at 86. As far as I am concerned, all time with Doris is to be valued.
Third, none of our other parents ever got to see this place. Both of our fathers died before we bought the property and my mother got cancer before she had a chance to visit. I think we both cling to Doris because she is the last living parent for either of us. We like to help her find pleasure.
Fourth, as the story at my website suggests, Doris is worn out. Her mind is struggling. While it makes us sad to watch her fade away, we can take pleasure in the fact that we brought her out here with us so many times, including a visit just a few months ago. But this time, things were worse than ever before. It took Doris 4 days before she could get up in the morning and remember where she was. Her recent struggles remind us that our good moments with her are becoming father and farther apart. So all good memories with her have exaggerated importance for both of us.
Patty has been a far better daughter than most people would ask for. Anybody who has ever been a primary care giver can understand just how demanding people like Doris can be, but Patty has always done well with seniors so she has set a fine example for our entire family in this regard. I respect Patty more now than I ever have before.
So, I understand why Patty puts so much importance on looking for sand dollars with Doris. As I said earlier this was also high on my list.
Even if we were not selling the condo, Doris would never be able to see it again, so there is a great comfort in realizing we really did do everything we could to be certain that the widow, the mother-in-law, the sweet little old lady with an exhausted mind who Patty affectionately calls "mom" has found so many sand dollars and watched so many sunsets in the sunset of her very own life.
Tomorrow I will share my own favorite experience.
My wife, Patty, and I have owned a condo in California on the beach for over 12 years, but we have decided to sell it. For more on that topic see several previous postings.
We were eating dinner at the Coyote grill the other night. That particular restaurant is one of our favorites because they have a nice semi-private patio that is cool in the summer and warm in the winter. We were reminiscing about all of the places we have gone, all of the things we have done and all of the people we have enjoyed as a result of owning the condo that we have sometimes affectionately referred to as the "nest".
There are plenty of general pleasures like watching the sun fall off the end of the earth right from our deck, or kicking off our shoes and walking down the stairs and across the grass in the yard then take a few more steps to begin long walks on the beach, or all of the private time we have shared together.
Then our conversation became more specific than that. We were recalling very precise activities. There are so many of them that I almost feel guilty. I am not sure that one person deserves so much pleasure. We must have gone on for a half hour, reliving all of those fine moments.
As our dinner was coming to an end, we each tried to pick the number one thing that meant the most to us after all of this time. There was so much to choose from but we each settled on something, Interestingly, Patty’s favorite memory also made my list of favorites and my top choice was one of the first things she mentioned when we began the exercise.
Patty’s first choice was searching for sand dollars, with her mother, Doris (That is Patty, her mother and my aunt in the above picture) I understand why Patty made that choice for four specific reasons: First, Doris always loved this place. Evidence of that was found in the way she watched each sunset as if she had never seen a previous one. She also regularly recalled fond memories of times she visited the beach with her own mother and with Patty’s dad. She couldn’t get enough of the kids playing on the beach, She loved long walks in the sand. And she particularly enjoyed looking for shells and sand dollars.
Second, I am nearly as fond of Doris as Patty is. If you would like to read an article that reveals my feelings for her, just visit my website http://www.uncledavesrealestate.com/bin/web/real_estate/AR273324/ACTIVATE_FRAMES/EXTRA1/Littleton/1246890401.html and examine Grandma: Worn out at 86. As far as I am concerned, all time with Doris is to be valued.
Third, none of our other parents ever got to see this place. Both of our fathers died before we bought the property and my mother got cancer before she had a chance to visit. I think we both cling to Doris because she is the last living parent for either of us. We like to help her find pleasure.
Fourth, as the story at my website suggests, Doris is worn out. Her mind is struggling. While it makes us sad to watch her fade away, we can take pleasure in the fact that we brought her out here with us so many times, including a visit just a few months ago. But this time, things were worse than ever before. It took Doris 4 days before she could get up in the morning and remember where she was. Her recent struggles remind us that our good moments with her are becoming father and farther apart. So all good memories with her have exaggerated importance for both of us.
Patty has been a far better daughter than most people would ask for. Anybody who has ever been a primary care giver can understand just how demanding people like Doris can be, but Patty has always done well with seniors so she has set a fine example for our entire family in this regard. I respect Patty more now than I ever have before.
So, I understand why Patty puts so much importance on looking for sand dollars with Doris. As I said earlier this was also high on my list.
Even if we were not selling the condo, Doris would never be able to see it again, so there is a great comfort in realizing we really did do everything we could to be certain that the widow, the mother-in-law, the sweet little old lady with an exhausted mind who Patty affectionately calls "mom" has found so many sand dollars and watched so many sunsets in the sunset of her very own life.
Tomorrow I will share my own favorite experience.
4 comments:
We love the Coyote Grill! We've always said that a place like that would fare very well here in Denver, but we've not found such a place. I remember when we were there on our honeymoon, we went to the Coyote one night for drinks and dinner. There was a lady sitting next to us at the fire pit, she was there by herself. We got to talking to her and found she was from Germany, just visiting San Diego on vacation. She found out we were on our honeymoon and proceeded to buy us a round of margaritas. It's funny because for whatever reason, that memory really stands out even though it was a relatively ordinary experience at the Coyote, nothing terribly special about it. But we make a point to visit the restaurant every time we go to San Diego.
what a nice apend
I have boxes and boxes of seashells given to me from grandma, with many a sand dollar. I cherish every single one of them, and I've never been able to get rid of them, even though they're all essentially the same. When I was younger, I would always ask grandma to get me some seashells when she went to the condo. But as I got older, I realized it was more important to grandma than it was to me to get the seashells, so I still asked her to do it. I kind of wish now, more than anything, that grandma could still pick me up sand dollars, but that time has passed, and I will simply have to look at every seashell as a tangible piece of grandma's love for me.
Your wisdom is evident.
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