She moved the piece of paper to the edge of the table.
That seems like a rather simple action. It would not mean much to anybody else but it mattered to me. My wife is a “Tidy Freak”
The table was only 4 foot square because we were sitting in a restaurant. I had just made some notes on a napkin and set the paper in front of me. We were catching up on some small talk and then suddenly she just couldn’t help herself. She grabbed that evil napkin and moved it to the edge of the table. I guess she thinks it is more likely to reach its ultimate destination if it is one foot closer to our exit route.
She does that all the time. I am constantly looking for things that I previously put somewhere for later. When I go to find the waiting item, it is nowhere to be seen. If I ask where it went, she usually has put it somewhere that she perceives to be better. You might be able to guess how the conversation goes.
“Do you know where ‘It’ is?
“I put it over here”
What was wrong with it where it was?”
I just didn’t want you to forget it
Why would I have a better chance of remembering something if you remove it from where I left it?
Well this is better
It’s not better if I have to go find it
Fine, then I will just stop helping you!!!
(Now how do you respond to that?)
Patty is not the only person who likes to tidy up.
Not long ago, I was giving a speech to a group of Realtor friends. I use one of those easels with large pieces of paper on it. There comes a point in the presentation where I dramatically tear off a piece of paper and publicly proclaim that “my wife is not here so I get to be sloppy now” then I tear off the page and throw it to the floor and make a big deal out of being a slob. It is intended to be a light hearted moment and take any formality off of the speech.
When I got to the break, I turned around to pick up the paper and discovered that it was gone. One of the women just couldn’t stand to leave it there. She had already picked it up. I was amused so I asked her, “Do you tend to ‘tidy up’ at home”?
Suddenly we realized we live in identical homes.
My wife and I are not Felix and Oscar of Odd Couple fame. Neither of us is that extreme, and I have to admit I am lucky to have her around, otherwise our home might become a mess.
But I just don’t see why she had to move that piece of paper.
I think I am going to go tidy up her sewing table, just to teach her a lesson.
Does your spouse annoy you? How?
Be sure to visit my other blog
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Come-upn’s for Politicians
Anybody who pays attention to politics is bound to be frustrated by the process, especially as it applies to the Federal Government. Naturally, this sentiment is not new. It is very common for the party out of power to seek ways to regain control.
But, that is the basic problem. Our country has been taken over by Parties and their leaders are more concerned with staying in power than doing what is right for the country.
Newly elected members go to Washington, and discover that all of their promises to “change” the government are not welcomed. They are assigned irrelevant roles on minor committees until they prove their willingness to tow the party line. Those running the committees decide what is to be discussed and new people are blocked out unless their philosophies are harmonious with the leaders; the career politicians.
All of this brings up an old topic about term limits. When the Congress was established it was intended to be a patriotic duty, much like the military. Members would go to the Congress for a few years, essentially for no compensation, just to serve their country.
Now they are paid enormous compensation packages and are influenced by large lobbying groups. They retire wealthy and with cushy retirement packages. They do not care about the people at home as much as staying in power.
Enough is enough!!! If we can limit the number of terms for the President, we can and should do the same thing for the Congress as well. I like a limit of 12 years for either House. That is two six-year terms for Senators and six two-year terms for Representatives.
They should be paid the same salary as the members of the military. In most cases that would mean $25,000 per year rather than $450,000. There should be very limited expense accounts and no housing or transportation allowances. The rest of us have to pay our expenses so they should too. Their retirement packages should be comparable to that of the military; minimal help with health care and burial packages. Ina case like that we would attract Patriots, not self-serving, power-crazed attorneys.
One of the many things that irk me is the way they exempt themselves of the very laws they impose on the rest of us. For example they raise taxes, but then they vote to give themselves a pay-raise, which off-sets their loss. None of the rest of us can do that. They are already making eight times as much money as the people they represent (not counting extravagant retirement plans and all of the side deals they make with lobbyists). Isn’t that enough?!
When they pass a health-care package, as an example, they should also be forced to use that plan, but no, they have a much better one than the rest of us do. They should have to abide by all of the laws the rest of us do. No special exemptions.
The bottom line here is the government has overpowered the people and that is a direct contradiction of what the founding fathers intended.
Long before there was an income tax system, Americans did more for their neighbors. For example, if somebody needed a barn, the community would get together and build one. When grandma got too old to take care of herself, she moved in with her kids and they all made the best of it. But now we all look to the government to solve our problems.
One of the primary reasons this has happened is many big-hearted people feel sorry for those who fall on bad times or cannot compete in an open market. When that group becomes legislators, they strive to “level the playing field” through social programs.
As far as I am concerned, that is the right sentiment, but the wrong approach. I once read the welfare program used 72% of every dollar they collected in taxes to administer the program, which left 28% for the actual recipients. That is a horrible waste of tax-payers money. A Republican Congress and a Democratic President (Clinton) made a good effort to fix that. They were on the right track.
We should be encouraging stronger families, more interaction with churches and non-profit organizations, more volunteering and better budgeting so that we can do more with our dollars.
We the people need to decide if we are going to help one another or cut each others throat, which then leads to the government steallng our money in the form of ever-higher taxes. Do we really want the government to tax us and then keep 3 out of every 4 dollars for themselves or should we be kinder and more generous with each other?
It all starts in Washington, where the legislators set the tone. By exempting themselves from the very laws they pass, they clearly set up a system of self-aggrandizement. Get all you can.
That is why I think it is time to reconsider term limits. I think that would attract a new breed of politician and that is what we need right now. We want people of honor and integrity who are there for the right reasons, and that is not perpetual self-promotion.
What say you?
Check out my Family Finances blog, currently discussing easy ways to build and improve credit.
But, that is the basic problem. Our country has been taken over by Parties and their leaders are more concerned with staying in power than doing what is right for the country.
Newly elected members go to Washington, and discover that all of their promises to “change” the government are not welcomed. They are assigned irrelevant roles on minor committees until they prove their willingness to tow the party line. Those running the committees decide what is to be discussed and new people are blocked out unless their philosophies are harmonious with the leaders; the career politicians.
All of this brings up an old topic about term limits. When the Congress was established it was intended to be a patriotic duty, much like the military. Members would go to the Congress for a few years, essentially for no compensation, just to serve their country.
Now they are paid enormous compensation packages and are influenced by large lobbying groups. They retire wealthy and with cushy retirement packages. They do not care about the people at home as much as staying in power.
Enough is enough!!! If we can limit the number of terms for the President, we can and should do the same thing for the Congress as well. I like a limit of 12 years for either House. That is two six-year terms for Senators and six two-year terms for Representatives.
They should be paid the same salary as the members of the military. In most cases that would mean $25,000 per year rather than $450,000. There should be very limited expense accounts and no housing or transportation allowances. The rest of us have to pay our expenses so they should too. Their retirement packages should be comparable to that of the military; minimal help with health care and burial packages. Ina case like that we would attract Patriots, not self-serving, power-crazed attorneys.
One of the many things that irk me is the way they exempt themselves of the very laws they impose on the rest of us. For example they raise taxes, but then they vote to give themselves a pay-raise, which off-sets their loss. None of the rest of us can do that. They are already making eight times as much money as the people they represent (not counting extravagant retirement plans and all of the side deals they make with lobbyists). Isn’t that enough?!
When they pass a health-care package, as an example, they should also be forced to use that plan, but no, they have a much better one than the rest of us do. They should have to abide by all of the laws the rest of us do. No special exemptions.
The bottom line here is the government has overpowered the people and that is a direct contradiction of what the founding fathers intended.
Long before there was an income tax system, Americans did more for their neighbors. For example, if somebody needed a barn, the community would get together and build one. When grandma got too old to take care of herself, she moved in with her kids and they all made the best of it. But now we all look to the government to solve our problems.
One of the primary reasons this has happened is many big-hearted people feel sorry for those who fall on bad times or cannot compete in an open market. When that group becomes legislators, they strive to “level the playing field” through social programs.
As far as I am concerned, that is the right sentiment, but the wrong approach. I once read the welfare program used 72% of every dollar they collected in taxes to administer the program, which left 28% for the actual recipients. That is a horrible waste of tax-payers money. A Republican Congress and a Democratic President (Clinton) made a good effort to fix that. They were on the right track.
We should be encouraging stronger families, more interaction with churches and non-profit organizations, more volunteering and better budgeting so that we can do more with our dollars.
We the people need to decide if we are going to help one another or cut each others throat, which then leads to the government steallng our money in the form of ever-higher taxes. Do we really want the government to tax us and then keep 3 out of every 4 dollars for themselves or should we be kinder and more generous with each other?
It all starts in Washington, where the legislators set the tone. By exempting themselves from the very laws they pass, they clearly set up a system of self-aggrandizement. Get all you can.
That is why I think it is time to reconsider term limits. I think that would attract a new breed of politician and that is what we need right now. We want people of honor and integrity who are there for the right reasons, and that is not perpetual self-promotion.
What say you?
Check out my Family Finances blog, currently discussing easy ways to build and improve credit.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
My Addiction
The other day I posted an article about alcoholism (Below) At the end I promised to reveal an addiction of my own. As much as I hate to confess, here is my story.
Nobody would ever guess that Brenda is my drug pusher because she goes to great lengths to look innocent. She has no tattoos or piercings to draw attention to herself. She is barely five-feet tall and usually wears a non-descript dress. Although she works within a very well-organized gang, she frequently works alone. The other day, she walked right up to my front door and handed me my drug of choice in such a nonchalant manner that we completed our transaction right under my neighbors’ noses, without ever raising any suspicion.
Brenda’s gang has managed to keep the rival gangs out of the neighborhood, but there is no doubt who is in control. Sometimes, Brenda’s pals are so brazen they take up positions in public places in search of new victims and they are relentless in their search for customers. Brenda and her friends sell Girl Scout cookies.
Brenda, or one of her green sisters, drops by every year. Last week she wrested $32 from my wallet. Part of it was for a brand new flavor. It is called “Thank U Berry Munch”. YUM!!
I usually buy 8-10 boxes. Patty buys ‘em too. We both complain when we discover how many boxes the other person bought because we are both shamefully weak in the will-power department. But regardless of our mutual whining, we both admire kids who attempt any type of work. We also admire all scouts, and our big-fat bellies offer ample evidence of our fondness for tasty sweets. Those cookie boxes disappear faster than a tax-dollar on April 15th.
The door-to-door approach is not the only way Brenda and her pals try to snag me. One time, when I was leaving the grocery store I managed to get past the check-out lane without buying any food of sin, and then the gang in green attacked me, just outside the door. I think their sinister adult leaders train the youngsters to act especially cute and awkward. They adopt the softest voices possible and gently inquire, “Would you like to buy some Girls Scout Cookies?” That particular day, I was so determined to resist the temptation I just gave them a donation. A couple hours later, I was so proud of myself for resisting the urge I went back and bought several boxes as a reward.
When it comes to “cookie value” Girl Scout cookies are horrible. They cost as much as gourmet cookies or the ones that are fresh-made in the bakery. There are usually just a dozen cookies or so in a Girl Scout box, which sells for $3.50. If you cruise down the cookie isle, there are bags of generic cookies with 30 or more cookies per bag, all for less than $2.00. On the other hand, considering how much money I fork over to the gang in green, it is probably better that I don’t get good value. The last thing I need is an extra eighteen cookies in each box. (Sigh!)
You have probably heard that old saying, If you can’t fight them, join them; and, I am to that point. To get off on the correct foot, I want to recommend a new formal holiday. But one measly day is not enough for such a noble undertaking. If we can devote 4 days to turkeys and an entire month to black history we ought to be able to establish Girl Scout cookie week.
I propose that we all take a designated week off (paid of course) and devote each day to a different flavor of Girl Scout cookies. The Government will give us all a box of Do-Si-Dos for Monday. Tuesday we get free Thin Mints. Wednesday, it’s Samoas. Trefolds are exclusively for Thursday. Friday’s is for your choice of the lemon flavors. Saturday lends opportunity to say Thank U Berry Munch. And Sunday we get one whole box of each flavor so that we won’t forget the lesser-known flavors like Dulche-de-Leche, Daisy Go Rounds and Thanks-A-Lot.
All sorts of new dynamics will unfold in our society. Bartering clubs will spring up to trade flavors. Republicans will want to remove all regulations. Democrats will want to take 4 cookies out of each box and give them to victims of some tragedy. TV shows will tell us various new ways to serve cookies. Kids will get so tired of cookies they will start begging their moms for carrots and celery sticks. The mob will try to make indistinguishable counterfeit cookies. The Girl Scouts will all be forced to join Unions. Do-gooders will want to set up Cookies Anonymous. Scalpers will hoard the good flavors and then sell them for a premium on Ebay. Churches will accept cookies in the collection plates. People will get cookie tattoos on secret parts of their bodies. The Crips and Blood will develop new hand signals to flaunt their preferred flavor. True scandal will visit the half-time show of the Super Bowl as Janet Jackson is “busted” wearing nothing more than a couple of well-placed Do-Si-Dos.
And, of course, I will get fatter. Oh well, at least I will be happy.
Whaddya say? Are you with me?
History of Girl Scout Cookies
Be sure to stop by my Family Finances Blog
Nobody would ever guess that Brenda is my drug pusher because she goes to great lengths to look innocent. She has no tattoos or piercings to draw attention to herself. She is barely five-feet tall and usually wears a non-descript dress. Although she works within a very well-organized gang, she frequently works alone. The other day, she walked right up to my front door and handed me my drug of choice in such a nonchalant manner that we completed our transaction right under my neighbors’ noses, without ever raising any suspicion.
Brenda’s gang has managed to keep the rival gangs out of the neighborhood, but there is no doubt who is in control. Sometimes, Brenda’s pals are so brazen they take up positions in public places in search of new victims and they are relentless in their search for customers. Brenda and her friends sell Girl Scout cookies.
Brenda, or one of her green sisters, drops by every year. Last week she wrested $32 from my wallet. Part of it was for a brand new flavor. It is called “Thank U Berry Munch”. YUM!!I usually buy 8-10 boxes. Patty buys ‘em too. We both complain when we discover how many boxes the other person bought because we are both shamefully weak in the will-power department. But regardless of our mutual whining, we both admire kids who attempt any type of work. We also admire all scouts, and our big-fat bellies offer ample evidence of our fondness for tasty sweets. Those cookie boxes disappear faster than a tax-dollar on April 15th.
The door-to-door approach is not the only way Brenda and her pals try to snag me. One time, when I was leaving the grocery store I managed to get past the check-out lane without buying any food of sin, and then the gang in green attacked me, just outside the door. I think their sinister adult leaders train the youngsters to act especially cute and awkward. They adopt the softest voices possible and gently inquire, “Would you like to buy some Girls Scout Cookies?” That particular day, I was so determined to resist the temptation I just gave them a donation. A couple hours later, I was so proud of myself for resisting the urge I went back and bought several boxes as a reward.
When it comes to “cookie value” Girl Scout cookies are horrible. They cost as much as gourmet cookies or the ones that are fresh-made in the bakery. There are usually just a dozen cookies or so in a Girl Scout box, which sells for $3.50. If you cruise down the cookie isle, there are bags of generic cookies with 30 or more cookies per bag, all for less than $2.00. On the other hand, considering how much money I fork over to the gang in green, it is probably better that I don’t get good value. The last thing I need is an extra eighteen cookies in each box. (Sigh!)
You have probably heard that old saying, If you can’t fight them, join them; and, I am to that point. To get off on the correct foot, I want to recommend a new formal holiday. But one measly day is not enough for such a noble undertaking. If we can devote 4 days to turkeys and an entire month to black history we ought to be able to establish Girl Scout cookie week.I propose that we all take a designated week off (paid of course) and devote each day to a different flavor of Girl Scout cookies. The Government will give us all a box of Do-Si-Dos for Monday. Tuesday we get free Thin Mints. Wednesday, it’s Samoas. Trefolds are exclusively for Thursday. Friday’s is for your choice of the lemon flavors. Saturday lends opportunity to say Thank U Berry Munch. And Sunday we get one whole box of each flavor so that we won’t forget the lesser-known flavors like Dulche-de-Leche, Daisy Go Rounds and Thanks-A-Lot.
All sorts of new dynamics will unfold in our society. Bartering clubs will spring up to trade flavors. Republicans will want to remove all regulations. Democrats will want to take 4 cookies out of each box and give them to victims of some tragedy. TV shows will tell us various new ways to serve cookies. Kids will get so tired of cookies they will start begging their moms for carrots and celery sticks. The mob will try to make indistinguishable counterfeit cookies. The Girl Scouts will all be forced to join Unions. Do-gooders will want to set up Cookies Anonymous. Scalpers will hoard the good flavors and then sell them for a premium on Ebay. Churches will accept cookies in the collection plates. People will get cookie tattoos on secret parts of their bodies. The Crips and Blood will develop new hand signals to flaunt their preferred flavor. True scandal will visit the half-time show of the Super Bowl as Janet Jackson is “busted” wearing nothing more than a couple of well-placed Do-Si-Dos.
And, of course, I will get fatter. Oh well, at least I will be happy.
Whaddya say? Are you with me?
History of Girl Scout Cookies
Be sure to stop by my Family Finances Blog
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
My name is Dave and I am an Alcoholic
When I was about 25 years old, I switched my primary vice from marijuana to beer. That may not seem like much of an improvement to an outsider, but I was concerned about the law, not the drug. I had already been arrested once for drug-related matters, and if it happened again, I was at risk of moving into the Grey-bar Motel – perhaps for 2-5 years, or longer. Beer enabled me to still get high (yes, I actually thought that was important) without the legal consequences. Ironically however, all I managed to do was trade one set of troubles for another set.
Alcohol has led millions of otherwise responsible people into all sorts of poor choices: Bar fights and sexual promiscuity being among them. In my case, I was guilty of drunk driving way too many times. I never did have an accident (that I can remember) but I was behind the wheel when I should not have been and some of those times were very dangerous. Fortunately, I never did get caught or hurt anybody.
Throughout that time, a pattern of drunkenness and guilt emerged. My wife was not particularly interested in drinking that much, so I hung around with some buddies and family members who also liked the beer culture. It was not uncommon to stay out late and drive home drunk around midnight. Naturally my wife was unhappy and concerned.
The next morning, when I woke up, I realized how selfish I had been and decided I would “never” do that again. After about 3 days of staying sober, it seemed like I had retaken control of my problem, so one beer wouldn’t hurt. But that beer quickly led to another and another and I was right back in the same old rut. That cycle lasted about four years.
Then one night, after several of us had way too many beers, a sister of one of my pals was drinking with us and on her way home she drove into a parked car. She hurt herself slightly, and went through an unpleasant legal system as a result. Perhaps it was divine intervention, but that was a real turning point for me.
The next morning, the guilt trip returned, but that time I took a different tactic. Instead of forbidding myself to drink “from now on” I decided that I would just not drink for that one day. The day after that, I had the same objective, and each day thereafter. As time ticked past, there were countless temptations. All of my drinking buddies offered me beer. Family functions and holidays were awash in adult beverages, but I held out and avoided being judgmental of others. After all, most of them had their drinking under control. There was no reason to admonish them.
I was very aware of my progress. It was constantly on my mind. When I had been sober for 3 days, I “knew” it… all day. The same goes with each milestone thereafter. At a week, two weeks a month and six months I was fully aware of the improvement. I knew the exact date for my one-year sober anniversary. The same thing happened with the two-year and three-year anniversary. After that, I lost track of the exact date, but I can still tell you the first dry day was in the summer of 1979. I was 29 at the time. That was over thirty years ago and I have been boringly sober ever since.
Occasionally, after working outdoors in the summer sun, an ice-cold beer still sounds pretty good. Oddly, I am not particularly concerned about drinking one beer in a situation like that. After all, who would possibly suggest that one beer in thirty years is too much? But, it is the second beer that scares me. It could be the beginning of the same old “pattern” and I just don’t want to expose myself and others to the potential drama that could follow. So I remain dull and willing to stay that way.
As the years ticked by I came to find out that my drunkenness and quilt cycle is a common problem among members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I was also surprised to learn that one of their primary philosophies is “one day at a time”, just like I instinctively embraced. I understand why they take that approach. “I am never going to drink again” is such a major commitment that it quickly seems unrealistic for many people who are surrounded by temptations.
If you are one of the fortunate ones who can drive by a liquor store without even noticing it, perhaps you can relate to the angst of the alcoholic by substituting a vice of your own. Suppose you enjoy chocolate. How difficult would it be for you to “never” eat it again? Everywhere you go chocolate is there to tempt you. Bakeries, gas stations, family functions, grocery stores, everywhere. Wouldn’t “forever” seem like too long and unrealistic? One day is challenging enough! And that is what Alcoholics Anonymous and I concluded.
The first step to dealing with these addictions is for the addict to acknowledge the problem. That is why AA meetings begin by each member standing up, one at a time, and confessing their equivalent of, “My name is Dave, and I am an alcoholic.” The remaining members respond in unison, with a warm “Hello, Dave.” The words are simple, but the meaning, compassion and sentiment are deep, for they all have their own painful stories: Auto wrecks, job losses, broken families, bankruptcy, sleeping in cars, jail and so much more.
When an AA member falls off the wagon, it can be very painful to spouses and others who have already given them countless chances. And, it is easy for the rest of us to make judgmental statements like, “They should just quit”. But the addicts know that, and nagging them does not usually help. Back at the meeting a much more practical approach is employed: “We don’t shoot our wounded.”
I have never attended an AA meeting, but I know people who have been loyal member for decades. The mutual support that they share keeps their lives in perspective. Regardless of the circumstances, they desperately need encouragement and that is what they offer each other…one day at a time.
I tell you all of this for a reason. You see, I am struggling with a new vice/addiction and I am trying to come to terms with it. In my next post I will confess all. Hopefully, you will be able to help me kick this on-going problem because there is no equivalent to AA to assist me.
comments?
Please check with my other blog for business related matters.
Alcohol has led millions of otherwise responsible people into all sorts of poor choices: Bar fights and sexual promiscuity being among them. In my case, I was guilty of drunk driving way too many times. I never did have an accident (that I can remember) but I was behind the wheel when I should not have been and some of those times were very dangerous. Fortunately, I never did get caught or hurt anybody.
Throughout that time, a pattern of drunkenness and guilt emerged. My wife was not particularly interested in drinking that much, so I hung around with some buddies and family members who also liked the beer culture. It was not uncommon to stay out late and drive home drunk around midnight. Naturally my wife was unhappy and concerned.
The next morning, when I woke up, I realized how selfish I had been and decided I would “never” do that again. After about 3 days of staying sober, it seemed like I had retaken control of my problem, so one beer wouldn’t hurt. But that beer quickly led to another and another and I was right back in the same old rut. That cycle lasted about four years.
Then one night, after several of us had way too many beers, a sister of one of my pals was drinking with us and on her way home she drove into a parked car. She hurt herself slightly, and went through an unpleasant legal system as a result. Perhaps it was divine intervention, but that was a real turning point for me.
The next morning, the guilt trip returned, but that time I took a different tactic. Instead of forbidding myself to drink “from now on” I decided that I would just not drink for that one day. The day after that, I had the same objective, and each day thereafter. As time ticked past, there were countless temptations. All of my drinking buddies offered me beer. Family functions and holidays were awash in adult beverages, but I held out and avoided being judgmental of others. After all, most of them had their drinking under control. There was no reason to admonish them.
I was very aware of my progress. It was constantly on my mind. When I had been sober for 3 days, I “knew” it… all day. The same goes with each milestone thereafter. At a week, two weeks a month and six months I was fully aware of the improvement. I knew the exact date for my one-year sober anniversary. The same thing happened with the two-year and three-year anniversary. After that, I lost track of the exact date, but I can still tell you the first dry day was in the summer of 1979. I was 29 at the time. That was over thirty years ago and I have been boringly sober ever since.
Occasionally, after working outdoors in the summer sun, an ice-cold beer still sounds pretty good. Oddly, I am not particularly concerned about drinking one beer in a situation like that. After all, who would possibly suggest that one beer in thirty years is too much? But, it is the second beer that scares me. It could be the beginning of the same old “pattern” and I just don’t want to expose myself and others to the potential drama that could follow. So I remain dull and willing to stay that way.
As the years ticked by I came to find out that my drunkenness and quilt cycle is a common problem among members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I was also surprised to learn that one of their primary philosophies is “one day at a time”, just like I instinctively embraced. I understand why they take that approach. “I am never going to drink again” is such a major commitment that it quickly seems unrealistic for many people who are surrounded by temptations.
If you are one of the fortunate ones who can drive by a liquor store without even noticing it, perhaps you can relate to the angst of the alcoholic by substituting a vice of your own. Suppose you enjoy chocolate. How difficult would it be for you to “never” eat it again? Everywhere you go chocolate is there to tempt you. Bakeries, gas stations, family functions, grocery stores, everywhere. Wouldn’t “forever” seem like too long and unrealistic? One day is challenging enough! And that is what Alcoholics Anonymous and I concluded.
The first step to dealing with these addictions is for the addict to acknowledge the problem. That is why AA meetings begin by each member standing up, one at a time, and confessing their equivalent of, “My name is Dave, and I am an alcoholic.” The remaining members respond in unison, with a warm “Hello, Dave.” The words are simple, but the meaning, compassion and sentiment are deep, for they all have their own painful stories: Auto wrecks, job losses, broken families, bankruptcy, sleeping in cars, jail and so much more.
When an AA member falls off the wagon, it can be very painful to spouses and others who have already given them countless chances. And, it is easy for the rest of us to make judgmental statements like, “They should just quit”. But the addicts know that, and nagging them does not usually help. Back at the meeting a much more practical approach is employed: “We don’t shoot our wounded.”
I have never attended an AA meeting, but I know people who have been loyal member for decades. The mutual support that they share keeps their lives in perspective. Regardless of the circumstances, they desperately need encouragement and that is what they offer each other…one day at a time.
I tell you all of this for a reason. You see, I am struggling with a new vice/addiction and I am trying to come to terms with it. In my next post I will confess all. Hopefully, you will be able to help me kick this on-going problem because there is no equivalent to AA to assist me.
comments?
Please check with my other blog for business related matters.
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