Married People Take Note
A short time ago, we visited the campus of Notre Dame University to observe our niece marry the man of her dreams. Sharon and Chris met 4 years ago in the college marching band. Chris went to Notre Dame while Sharon attended the sister college, St Mary's.
They hit it off right away and announced their plans nearly two years before the big day arrived. Naturally, all of the women involved (their mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmas, and friends) all got on board right away. I was among another group who delayed the excitement of anticipation until the eventual wedding day was only a couple months off. After all, old timers like me have been around the block a time or two. I have seen too many plans go awry to jump on every emotional roller coaster that comes flying by.
Not to be deterred, the women made plans. After all, American weddings must be spectacles you know. Churches have big demand for their facilities. Sharon’s mom booked the date well over a year in advance.
The wedding gown lends opportunity to raise an eyebrow, or two, or maybe even three! For starters they cost so much money, that our very own congress would shrivel like cowards if they had to pay for one. There is a presumption that they will only be used once (but half of all marriages end in divorce) so they only have to last one day and then they get relegated to a lonely closet somewhere. Thereafter, the bride takes it out for nostalgic purposes once in a while. They also like to try it on from time to time just to see if it still fits. It usually doesn’t. As far as I am concerned, there are a lot of cheaper ways to get disappointed. Sharon’s gown was beautiful, and so was she.
There are countless other details to be attended. Some of them include, invitations, travel plans, accommodations, wedding gifts, the reception hall, music, decorations, meals, the wedding cake (it was yummy!) , site seeing, the services themselves, the songs, the speakers, the vows. The wedding party can include a matron or maid of honor (depending on if she is married) one or more bride’s maids, the best man and the groomsmen, as well as a flower girl and a ring boy. Then there are all sorts of traditions to observe.
The wife’s side of the family is supposed to pick up the bulk of the tab, but usually the groom’s side helps out. Sit here, lift your glass this way, throw the bouquet, the bridal showers, the bachelor party, feed each other cake, removing the garter and wedding favors (Remember the Godfather?). What about the wedding veil (keeps out evil spirits), throwing rice, the gown color, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? The reasons and history behind some of these traditons can be found at the site of Wedding Wisdom. Another good site is essortment.
Chris and Sharon’s wedding was deep in tradition and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would, but one of the best parts came 10 days later when she emailed us. Her topic: 10 things I learned about marriage in my first 10 days.
“How cute” I thought. “What could a young bride of such little experience actually learn?” I quickly opened the message. I have included Sharon's list for your review.
Ten things I've learned about marriage in the first 10 days:
10. How to wake Chris up when he's snoring by tugging on the covers so I can fall back asleep before he starts snoring again.
9. How to clean copious amounts of mold off of a bathtub.
8. How to parallel park in Chicago (and when that doesn't work, sometimes there are nice old guys who will do it for you if you smile and say thank you)
7. Kool-aid is tolerable to drink if it's only the lemonade kind.
6. To avoid the pigeons who live in the back stairway of our apartment building, first bang the doorjam with a baseball bat, then quickly run inside while the pigeons fly outside, and then run down the stairs before they return.
5. The characters from Peter Pan are not imaginary. I know, because I live with the lost boys, and I have discovered that I am Wendy.
4. Ants don't like Clorox bleach, so if you spray the hole where they seem to keep coming into the house, only a few will break the perimeter.
3. Having someone to say goodnight to before turning out the lights is pretty cool.
2. God always finds a way to give you the things you really need.
1. No matter how dusty, pigeon-infested, mold encrusted, or old an apartment is, if you're with someone you care about, it still feels like home.
I smiled as I scanned her list. It was very charming. I forget the details of the Peter Pan story so that one went over my head, but we all should reread her number one item. This idea is lost on many of us. How could such a young and inexperienced person realize such an important truth? It is good to be reminded of such things, even if the reminder comes from someone so young and naïve; or is she? Still, I took mental note of her apparent wisdom.
As for me, I am approaching 15,000 days of marriage now. There is no telling what kind of list my wife has assembled regarding all of the things our marriage has taught her. At one lesson per day, as Sharon’s list was, my wife should be wiser than Solomon by now. She probably is.
Sharon’s list makes me realize that I take my own wife for granted. She knows all sorts of things about me, yet she sticks around for some reason. I ought to be more appreciative. I am gald I got the reminder.
What about you?
Comments?
A short time ago, we visited the campus of Notre Dame University to observe our niece marry the man of her dreams. Sharon and Chris met 4 years ago in the college marching band. Chris went to Notre Dame while Sharon attended the sister college, St Mary's.
They hit it off right away and announced their plans nearly two years before the big day arrived. Naturally, all of the women involved (their mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmas, and friends) all got on board right away. I was among another group who delayed the excitement of anticipation until the eventual wedding day was only a couple months off. After all, old timers like me have been around the block a time or two. I have seen too many plans go awry to jump on every emotional roller coaster that comes flying by.
Not to be deterred, the women made plans. After all, American weddings must be spectacles you know. Churches have big demand for their facilities. Sharon’s mom booked the date well over a year in advance.
The wedding gown lends opportunity to raise an eyebrow, or two, or maybe even three! For starters they cost so much money, that our very own congress would shrivel like cowards if they had to pay for one. There is a presumption that they will only be used once (but half of all marriages end in divorce) so they only have to last one day and then they get relegated to a lonely closet somewhere. Thereafter, the bride takes it out for nostalgic purposes once in a while. They also like to try it on from time to time just to see if it still fits. It usually doesn’t. As far as I am concerned, there are a lot of cheaper ways to get disappointed. Sharon’s gown was beautiful, and so was she.
There are countless other details to be attended. Some of them include, invitations, travel plans, accommodations, wedding gifts, the reception hall, music, decorations, meals, the wedding cake (it was yummy!) , site seeing, the services themselves, the songs, the speakers, the vows. The wedding party can include a matron or maid of honor (depending on if she is married) one or more bride’s maids, the best man and the groomsmen, as well as a flower girl and a ring boy. Then there are all sorts of traditions to observe.
The wife’s side of the family is supposed to pick up the bulk of the tab, but usually the groom’s side helps out. Sit here, lift your glass this way, throw the bouquet, the bridal showers, the bachelor party, feed each other cake, removing the garter and wedding favors (Remember the Godfather?). What about the wedding veil (keeps out evil spirits), throwing rice, the gown color, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue? The reasons and history behind some of these traditons can be found at the site of Wedding Wisdom. Another good site is essortment.
Chris and Sharon’s wedding was deep in tradition and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would, but one of the best parts came 10 days later when she emailed us. Her topic: 10 things I learned about marriage in my first 10 days.
“How cute” I thought. “What could a young bride of such little experience actually learn?” I quickly opened the message. I have included Sharon's list for your review.
Ten things I've learned about marriage in the first 10 days:
10. How to wake Chris up when he's snoring by tugging on the covers so I can fall back asleep before he starts snoring again.
9. How to clean copious amounts of mold off of a bathtub.
8. How to parallel park in Chicago (and when that doesn't work, sometimes there are nice old guys who will do it for you if you smile and say thank you)
7. Kool-aid is tolerable to drink if it's only the lemonade kind.
6. To avoid the pigeons who live in the back stairway of our apartment building, first bang the doorjam with a baseball bat, then quickly run inside while the pigeons fly outside, and then run down the stairs before they return.
5. The characters from Peter Pan are not imaginary. I know, because I live with the lost boys, and I have discovered that I am Wendy.
4. Ants don't like Clorox bleach, so if you spray the hole where they seem to keep coming into the house, only a few will break the perimeter.
3. Having someone to say goodnight to before turning out the lights is pretty cool.
2. God always finds a way to give you the things you really need.
1. No matter how dusty, pigeon-infested, mold encrusted, or old an apartment is, if you're with someone you care about, it still feels like home.
I smiled as I scanned her list. It was very charming. I forget the details of the Peter Pan story so that one went over my head, but we all should reread her number one item. This idea is lost on many of us. How could such a young and inexperienced person realize such an important truth? It is good to be reminded of such things, even if the reminder comes from someone so young and naïve; or is she? Still, I took mental note of her apparent wisdom.
As for me, I am approaching 15,000 days of marriage now. There is no telling what kind of list my wife has assembled regarding all of the things our marriage has taught her. At one lesson per day, as Sharon’s list was, my wife should be wiser than Solomon by now. She probably is.
Sharon’s list makes me realize that I take my own wife for granted. She knows all sorts of things about me, yet she sticks around for some reason. I ought to be more appreciative. I am gald I got the reminder.
What about you?
Comments?
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