I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
D'oh!
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
It's true, I'm a Rageaholic...I just can't live without Rageahol!
I've gone back in time to when dinosaurs weren't just confined to zoos.
The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.
Oh sure. Even communism works. In theory.
Donuts: Is there anything they can't do?
If a gun is good enough to protect something as important as a bar, then its good enough to protect my family.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
I saw a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down."
Marge; "Homer, do you know why I married you?"
Homer: "Cause I knocked you up?"
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems
Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.
If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Trying is the first step on the road to failure
To Bart: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
Homer no function beer well without.
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3 comments:
What could one possibly add to that collection?
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