Travel Directions

Travel Directions

I have a wonderful cousin who lives with her husband, 250 miles away in Grand Junction, Colorado. We don’t get to see each other enough but I always enjoy our visits. This week my wife and I were driving from California to Denver and we were able to stop by to spend a little time with Genise and Rod.

We always get along well, but this time the fun started before we even got there. It all has to do with the differences between how women and men handle driving directions. Before I tell you how we differ, please be assured that I am not saying “all women are this way” or “men have a better approach” or anything like that. I am merely observing that we tend to approach the matter from two different perspectives.

My theory is that women think in terms of landmarks and men think in terms of directions and distances: For instance, most men will say “Go north about a half-mile and make a sharp right” But women will say something like “Look for the big blue house with the windmill in the front yard.” All of this is okay as long as women are giving directions to women and vise versa. But things don’t always work out like that.

As you probably guessed, when it came to getting directions to my cousin’s home, I did it all wrong. I say “I” did it wrong because I have been aware of this communication variance for a long time. The bottom line is when Genise gave the driving directions, I should have just handed the phone to Patty. It would have been a lot easier, but Patty was driving and I was on the cell phone and writing down directions.

Here are Genise’s directions (with variations just in case you were thinking of dropping by unannounced) and what happened as I tried to interpret them for Patty. The information flowed from female to male to female: an obvious problem.

Genise: Take the Fairfield exit that goes toward Happytown (so far so good)

Pass the loop (after the exit we went about 3/4 mile and I had not seen any such loop, but Patty said we passed it way back there). When it comes to understanding another woman’s directions, the score is: Patty 1, David 0

Go quite a ways, just pass the river, to highway 27, by the McDonalds
Me: “Stop, stop, stop! Does ‘quite a ways’ mean 3 blocks or 35 miles or what?” It meant about 2 miles. Once that was settled, I wrote down “river” and “Highway 27” (The male in me heard “Highway 27”, but I barely heard the part about “by the McDonalds”)

We crossed the river fairly quickly, but highway 27 was nowhere in sight. Patty said she didn’t think that was it.

A little while later we crossed the “real” river. (As it turns out the first river was just a large irrigation ditch, but it was flowing full of water and it certainly looked a lot like a river to me.) Score: Patty 2, David 0.

When we got to highway 27 the most obvious exit was going to take us the wrong way on a one way street. Patty was driving at a turtle’s pace in the left lane and trying to figure out my interpretation of Genise’s instructions when I remembered that part about McDonalds. It was another half block ahead.

By then, I was a bit humbled but Patty was cruising along like a Local. Score: Patty 2, David minus 1.

Go near the top of the hill and turn left on Sea Row. That doesn’t sound too tough, but It was actually C Road and since it was my responsibility to get it correct, the Score is: Patty 2, David minus 2. (sigh!)

Go about 1 ½ miles (by then she could have said “quite a ways” because I previously learned what that meant) and you’ll see the wagon. Go left. (ok, I’ve got it – look for wagon?)

Patty saw the wagon right away, but naturally I missed it (I am supposed to be the navigator but Patty is doing that better too.) score Patty 3, David minus 3,

But the street names didn’t jive. I thought we should have called for updated directions, but Patty just kept going. 1 ½ miles later (quite a ways) we saw another wagon: a bigger wagon. Patty went left. Score: Patty 4, David minus 3

Our house is the one with the white fence (no address number) Patty pulled into the driveway.

We were all happy to see each other. We hugged and laughed about the differences in how we perceive directions. When it came to understanding the directions, Patty beat me by 7 points.

As it turns out, all of this happened right in the middle of peach season. YUMMY! We went to a neighbor’s house and bought two big boxes full.

To the Locals, peaches represent work, but to outsiders it was mouth heaven. Genise told us that every year they have Peach Days in August. We missed it by one week. Apparently, Peach Days have been going on for decades, but I never knew it. Next year we are planning on attending.

When we do go back to Genise and Rod’s, Patty won’t need directions. She will remember the loop, the river(s), the hill, the McDonalds and the wagon(s), but not me. All of that landmark stuff just doesn’t make sense to a smart fellow, like me. I think in terms of distance and directions.

I suppose I could get one of those Global Positioning Systems (GPS). That will work just fine as long as it has translations from Girl Talk to Guy Speak. At least now, I know that if it tells me to go “quite a ways” it means approximately 2 miles.

Now I am going to go eat one of those big, fat juicy peaches, thanks to Genise, Rod and Patty.

I hope I can find my way to the kitchen. It is about 35 feet to the north.

Isn't traveling fun?!

To add a note or two just click on comment and then sign in as a "follower", (I use Google) It may take a couple clicks.