Email Etiquette

Email can be a lot of fun or a big pain in the you-know-what! Would you like to get more out of your email time? Any email you receive fits into one of the following 5 categories. Here is a good way to deal with them.


CUTE OR THOUGHT-PROVOKING –Many of us look forward to these.

When someone sends you a cute or thought-provoking email, it is tempting to forward it to all of your friends to show them you like to be connected to them, but do not be hasty.

As we will discuss in a later section, nobody likes “junk” email. If you send too many emails, none of them are “special.” Be selective about which items you forward. This way, your own interests become evident and your emails are something the recipient actually looks forward to.

It is not necessary to respond to all of these emails but if someone forwarded an email to you that you especially liked, be sure to tell them so. That gives you one more opportunity to “connect” with your real friends and it illustrates your tastes, thereby encouraging them to send you other similar items as they get them.

It is better to cut and paste the relevant part of the incoming email which you intend to forward, rather than forward the exact one you received. The person(s) before you probably don’t want you to send their email addresses all over the place, and their computers might have viruses which your recipient does not want.


PERSONAL – These are the very best emails. They are easy to recognize because they have special notes, unusual attachments or unique observations that are particularly relevant to you.

People who go the extra mile to send you a personal email consider you to be a lot more important than just “one of the gang.” They think you are somebody special.

In most cases, these are the emails which deserve the most of your time. We all invest large blocks of our time trying to be liked and finding new friends, but any adult knows there is no friend like an old friend. The best way to attract lots of old friends is to treat new friends well. Responding to each personal email is one great way to do that.

Have you ever had a family member who you also considered to be a friend? These are among the best relationships you will ever have. You should cherish their emails, just like you would a birthday present or a heart-felt hug. Be certain you respond to their emails in a timely manner, usually within 48 hours.

Some of our greatest pleasures in life come from personal emails that we exchange with Veterans, elderly relatives and pen pals. Be sure to include them in your email time.

Don’t send email which contains naughty articles or pictures of anybody. If your email gets forwarded into the wrong hands, you can be charged with lewd conduct or pornography-type crimes. If convicted of those crimes you may be forced to register as a sex offender for all the rest of your life. No short-term giggle is worth that.

JUNK EMAIL – We all get too many of these. Somehow we get on mailing lists which we don’t like.

Do not give out personal information to these people; especially your Social Security numbers, checking account or credit card information, birth date, home addresses, phone numbers etc. If the email “appears” to be from somebody you know about such as eBay or the Walt Disney Company, they do not ask for personal information this way. Instead log onto their web site and provide the information through there.

When you get this type of email, you should deal with it immediately. It is not enough to delete these items because many of them will continue to pester you. HOWEVER, REPONDING TO THEM CARRIES ITS OWN RISK.

Whenever you respond to email, the other party knows that the email address which they have for you is a correct one; and, bad people can then add your name to other lists. So, do not respond to these unless they are from somebody you know to be legitimate.

If the email is from somebody you know to be legitimate, they should provide an opportunity for you to “opt out” or “unsubscribe” from their mailing list. DO SO RIGHT AWAY! Otherwise, over time, your in-basket becomes so crowded with incoming mail it requires even more effort to wade through the mess. Once again, if their “Opt out” form requires you to provide your email address, caution should be exercised.

As sad as it is, you did not win a bazillion dollars or inherit a fortune from someone in an out-of-the-way country. If you really were entitled to such funds an attorney would send you a certified letter and you would have your own attorney respond. Other topics may be equally unwelcomed. Before you delete these emails, be sure to “block” the senders. Then you won’t have to look at their garbage again.

USEFUL – This includes exchanges you have with businesses, churches, schools, groups, officials and individuals with whom you have some sort of professional or established relationship.

There are numerous interpretations to the Golden Rule, but the basic precept applies very well: Always treat other people the way you would like to be treated.

Respond quickly. Use good manners (Please, thank you, you’re welcome).

Remain courteous, even if the other party has done something wrong. This is especially important if you are communicating with someone who is not the wrong-doer. For example, if you were billed for something you did not buy, the person on the other end of your email probably did not cause the problem. They are not the enemy. He/she is trying to help you. If you are nice to them they will want to help you.

If there is some sort of conflict, keep copies of invoices, order numbers and other pertinent communication until the transaction is completed to your satisfaction.

NOT SURE YET – Sometimes we get email that seems intriguing but we don’t immediately know what we want to do with it.

If you have been invited to an event or discover a product you find interesting, but you just aren’t sure what you want to do, mark your email as “unread” so that you will check it again soon. By then you may have a clearer picture of what you want to do.

If you are still undecided after a few days, this is probably one of those things that you find somewhat interesting but the timing is not right for you (otherwise you would have been more inclined to act on the matter.) It is usually better to purge this item or move it into a folder called “not now.” Check back occasionally and see if the matter is any clearer.


Email can be a lot of fun or an unnecessary burden. By implementing these rules you ought to be able to attend priorites, build relationships, avoid problems and use your time efficiently. Oh Yeah, there is one more thing….

PASS THIS ON; preferably, with a personal comment!

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Cinnamon Pancakes

When I was a kid there was a tasty munchy called cinnamon toothpicks. They were made from the oil of cinnamon bark. They were cool because they were so hot.

This week I decided I wanted to make some cinnamon pancakes using that same hot cinnamon oil. I could just use cinnamon extract or cinnamon syrup but that only addresses the basic flavor, not the spicy-hot accent that I want to capture. I also intend to add red food color to the pancake mix to add an eye-catching appearance that is consistent with the flavor. I may even add a few of those candy red-hots that we see on Valentine’s Day.

To get started, I headed down to the local grocery store and nearly fell over when I discovered that they wanted $38 for a bottle with 2 ounces of cinnamon oil. I turned them down and regrouped. Later in the day I found out that Walmart would order a one -ounce bottle for $7.50. That is still a bit pricey but I am gonna give it a try.

My friend, Bob, suggested I just mix some of the hot oil with Cinnamon syrup and that may end up being the best plan. Besides, if the pancakes themselves are so cinnamony, then what do I use for syrup? Perhaps whip-cream or honey.

Would cinnamon syrup on cinnamon pancakes be too much cinnamon? Don’t know, but I may be able to update this article after breakfast tomorrow.

Here is my Family Finances blog

One Man's Marriage

Not long ago, one of My Facebook buddies posted a touching story that was like a poorly wrapped Christmas present: The inside was pretty cool, but you had to overlook the packaging. There was a good story but the author lacked the skill-set to tell it in such a way that it fulfilled its potential.

I decided that it would be an interesting challenge to rewrite it. I required myself to capture exactly what the original writer wanted to say without adding or taking anything out of the story. All I wanted to do was inject punctuation, improve grammar, broaden the vocabulary, insert some adjectives and lend it some much needed structure. So this article is my first attempt at ghost writing, but in this case, I was self-appointed. See what you think.

ONE MAN’S MARRIAGE

When my wife served dinner, I gently stated, “I've got something to tell you.” She sat down and ate quietly.

I didn't know how to begin, but I had to let her know I wanted a divorce.

I raised the topic calmly and I observed the hurt in her eyes. Then, she softly asked me, “Why?”

I struggled to tell her I didn’t love her any more: that she had lost my heart to Jane, but I did the best I could. Naturally, she was saddened. She dropped her fork and left the room.

Later that night and with a deep sense of guilt, I wrote up a preliminary divorce agreement. I offered her our house, our car, and a 30% stake of my company. The next morning she read it and broke down and cried as she tore it into pieces.

I actually pitied her. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy, but I could not take back what I had said or felt. Besides, I loved Jane so dearly, there was no doubt in my mind. The idea of divorce, which had obsessed me for several months, seemed to be firmer and clearer than ever before.

The next day, I came back home very late, after an eventful day with Jane. My wife was writing something at the table, but I didn’t want to talk with her so I went straight to bed.

When I woke up, she was still sitting there at the table.

Then, she presented some of her own divorce conditions: She didn't want anything from me, but she did have two requirements:

First) She wanted to wait a full month before any official divorce proceedings would begin. During that month we were to both live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: Our son had exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
Second) She asked me to recall how I had carried her over the threshold on our wedding day. Then, she requested that every morning for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door in that same way.

I thought she was going crazy, but just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

Later that day, I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. We both laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.

The next morning, when I woke up, I realized my wife and I hadn't had any body contact for several months. When I carried her to the door as agreed, we both felt awkward, but our son followed us and clapped his hands. “Daddy is holding mommy in his arms”, he cheered. His words brought me a sense of pain. My wife closed her eyes and said softly, “Please don't tell him about the divorce.” I nodded and put her down outside the door. Then I drove to the office.

The second day was easier. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at her carefully for a long time. I let myself glance at her and noticed that our marriage had taken its toll on her. There were a few fine wrinkles on her face, and her hair was graying just a bit. For a minute, I wondered what I had done to her. Once again, our son followed us, with enthusiasm.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, any resentment I harbored had vanished. I waited for our son to follow us to the door.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again and I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell Jane about my observations.

As the month slipped by, it became easier and easier to carry her. She seemed to be getting lighter, or perhaps I was getting stronger.

One morning, she tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “All my dresses have grown bigger.”

I looked closer and realized that she had become rather thin and that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Apparently the entire ordeal was wearing her down. Her much lighter weight made me sad. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, “Daddy, it's time to carry mommy to the door.” To him, seeing his father carrying his mother had become an essential part of his morning. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.

I turned my face away because I was ashamed of what I was doing to two such fine people. I then picked up my wife and held her closely. Her fragile arms surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tight; it was just like our wedding day.

There was no doubt: I changed my mind.

On the last day, I drove past my office and went strait to Jane’s house. When she opened the door, I said to her, “I’m sorry, Jane, but I do not want the divorce anymore.”

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. “Do you have a fever?” She said.

I brushed her hand off my head.

I went on “I’m Sorry, Jane, I was all wrong. My marriage was boring because I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore.”

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and burst into tears, and then slammed the door.

On my way home, I stopped at the floral shop and ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and told her to say, “I want to carry you out every morning, until death do us part.”

As I was driving home, I was full of enthusiasm. Both my heart and my face were smiling. I grabbed the flowers and ran upstairs, only to discover that my wife….. had died in our bed.

As it turned out, she had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. All along she knew that she was dying, but all that mattered to her was that we stayed together as a family for as long as possible. In the end, she made me appear to be a better man, in my son’s eyes, than I had ever done on my own.

And, I sincerely wish…there was some way…I could thank her.

The moral to this story is, “The small details of our lives are what really matter in any relationship. So take the time to do the little things that matter to others and appreciate the little things that others do for you.

“The rest will just fall into place."

Okay, that's the revised version. I thought it was a heart-felt story with an intereseting and conflicting message. The man loved his wife, but he was a scoundrel. Do you think he went back to Jane?

Be Sure to check out my other blog about Family Finances.