To get things rolling, let me stick my neck out and measure it. It is a size 16. Okay! Fair enough! But when I put my hat on, things start getting weird. Many fellows prefer those baseball style caps in which one-size-fits-all, but other types of hats are fitted. In my case, I once needed the correct sized football helmet. That was when I found out my hat size is a 7 3/8.
When you think about neck and hat sizes together, they don’t make sense. If my head size is a 7 3/8 and my neck size is a 16, my head should be only half the size of my neck. I actually measured an orange and it is about 7 ½ inches in circumference. Therefore that is how big my head would be “if sizes made sense”. That would sure make it a lot easier to get my T-shirts on and off.
Since my head is bigger than my neck, my head size should be bigger than my neck size. I measured my head the same way one measures a neck, and my head is actually 23 inches around the crown. Therefore, “if sizes made sense” that would be my hat size. The Village Hat Shop is willing to explain how to measure your head for a hat size, but it is stupid if you ask me.This is one of the first things I would change when it comes to men’s sizes.
Another oddity in men’s sizes is found on the other end of our body: the feet. As difficult as it is to believe, I really don’t know what size my foot is. I can tell you that it is fairly wide and I am flatfooted. Some shoes come in several widths but others are less accommodating. That means certain shoes that are wide enough for me, tend to be too long; and shoes that are of the correct length tend to be too cramped. After all of that is taken into consideration, my tennis shoe is a size 10 ½.
Socks are more interesting. They are usually designed to fit a wide range of feet. I guess they are adjustable in their own way. But unlike hats, they have no legitimate way to adjust them, so the consumer is left to his own devises to make ‘em fit.
Hanes and other manufacturers actually have socks that fit sizes six through twelve. That is dumb. The guy who has a size-six foot must have an extra inch of sock jammed into the toe of his shoe, which means he should buy a bigger shoe just to get all of the extra sock in there. Or, to get the toe end to fit, he has to pull the tops up to his knees.
On the other hand, the fellow with a size-twelve foot must feel like he is squeezing it into some sort of ridiculously tight sock-girdle. He trains his toes to become contortionists so they can squeeze into a receptacle that is way too small. When he does finally get the socks on, they must be constantly seeking a less stretched-out position. If you see big guys pulling their socks up quite a bit, now you will know why.
If you will allow me to digress for a moment, I can’t help but wonder if the guys who live with extra room in their socks probably also where boxer shorts while the guys who don’t mind cramped quarters would probably be more willing to wear briefs, or “tighty whities” as some people refer to them.
Getting back to socks, the sock that fits me best is a size 12. How do we explain that, given the fact that my shoe is a size 10 ½? Since we are talking about the same foot here, shouldn’t both sizes be the same? Or, the sock should be a smaller size since it goes on first, and then the bigger item, the shoe, could be a slightly larger size. But that is not how things are.
“If sizes made sense” I would put my size 10 ½ shoe on first and then put my size 12 sock on over the shoe. That might look ridiculous but at least it would be orderly.
Considering how the manufacturers try to make one size fit all, and there are so few special sock styles, I am surprised you do not hear more about custom made socks, If you want to see just what is possible with these little foot cases, check out the Sock Guy. He has some really cool custom made socks that will make you want to remove your shoes everywhere you go, just so you can show off.
Don’t think I have overlooked the ladies. Women’s sizes are even more interesting. We will talk about them next time.
Comments?
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2 comments:
Did you know that your foot is as long as your wrist to your elbow. Might have to do some yoga moves to try this, but it's interesting anyway.
Your pinky finger is as long as your nose.
Most newborn feet (assuming a term baby)are exactly as long as their mother's middle finger.
The width of your armspan stretched out is the length of your whole body.
I have no idea how I know these things, just some of the useless but interesting information I have stored in my brain (which is 80% water).
Can't wait to here what you have to say about womens sizes tomorrow!
This is a great article - can't tell you how many times I have thought about the same things....like how does the shirt maker know that if the shirt fits around your neck that it is going to fit around the shoulders or the middle? Are they always in proportion? So does that mean if your neck is 16, your shoulders are going to be 44 and your stomach is automatically a ?????
Can hardly wait for your take on womens sizes!!! Love the bra idea - AAA to DDD! Also, love the panty sizes as you can weigh 250 lbs but wear a size 8 panty! How good does that sound - 'Gee, I only wear a size 8!" (I'm just saying which piece of clothing is a size 8!) Works well cuz it certainly makes us feel better and we all know that it is ALL about perception!
Looking forward to your next article!
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